With several incidents of conductors stopping performances for children (this article from Dayton) and cell phones (seemingly the only way to make the news these days), it begs the question especially in the case of children: is there something short of ostracizing them (and their parents) that can be done to allow quiet in a concert hall with children present? Most definitely yes, as guest blogger and Founder/ED of the River Oaks Chamber Orchestra Alecia Lawyer will explain…..
Many experiences are either child-friendly or adult-friendly. Rarely are there shared family experiences where both kid and parent are entertained, educated, enlightened, and all at the individuals’ pace. Our ROCOrooters kids program, was created to give parents and kids a separate, but shared experience. The parents attend our 5pm Saturday shows while their kids, 10 years and under (all the way to 2 months!) go to a different part of the performance space, are separated by age and have a music lesson about one piece on our program that evening. The 5-10 yr olds come into the concert to hear that piece performed live. However, they are not sitting with the parents, but are in the balcony with the helpers. Afterward they go back and do a debrief with the music teacher and then stay for pizza and movies until 10pm, giving the parents and guardians a date night. This way on the ride home, the kids and parents can have a conversation about the evening, but will have experienced it in a much different, but completely age-appropriate way (even old age!).
As far as kids in the concert hall itself: as long as parents actually parent, there is rarely a problem. That means taking care of the tired, hungry or bored kid. However, it also means you have to come to the concert accepting that you may only get to hear the tuning notes before it is time to go home. It is so important to bring the kids into your adult life and have them do what you enjoy, too. We are a very child-centered society in many ways, so the idea that children in this day and age should have to come to something the adult wants to do is a bit unusual.
As a mom of two boys myself, I have a high tolerance for kids who are fussy. Sometimes it is out of the parents’ control as to the reaction of the kid in certain situations. However, many times the kids are just out too late or over-scheduled (my own included), hungry or very bored. To top it off, kids are not necessarily great to negotiate with in the heat of the moment.
I just sat through a movie with my kids where the parents and two children behind us spoke in a normal voice through the ENTIRE film. It was so distracting I could not even watch the show. I hear the debate and understand both sides, but comes down to the individual taking responsibility and being gracious toward the rest of any audience.
Alecia Lawyer
Founder, ED and Principal Oboist
River Oaks Chamber Orchestra (ROCO)
1973 West Gray, Suite 3
Houston, TX 77019
713-665-2700
So you have, essentially, removed the children for all but a portion of the concert. This clearly is the only way to assure that there can be enough quiet in the hall for the other listeners. It is too much to hope for these days that adults actually do parent in a concert situation. The likelihood that there will be a distractingly large proportion of little families, like the one you describe at the movie theater, in the concert hall is growing greater and greater. In one morning youth concert I saw parents talking with their children throughout the concert, and others letting their kids make noise and climb around the seats. It seems that fewer and fewer parents are willing to remove their children when it is clear that they should. Add the talking parents and the undisciplined children and you have enough noise to make it disturbing to even the performers. How does a distracting amount of noise in the hall benefit anyone’s listening experience? If I had brought my well-behaved child into such a chaotic concert hall I would have been quite upset. Fortunately, I didn’t pay for a ticket; I only had to play the bass for that concert. Many colleagues and staff didn’t think it was that bad (are we just becoming inured to background noise?), but I was appalled at the din. I would guess that a decidel meter would have recorded a sound level quite shockingly high.